Death Spiral at Crabtree Falls
Uncle Ted on
the Road discovers a magazine article.
Score a couple
of points in favor of unexpected detours.
I stealthily parked my car at the Dark Falls Trail Parking Area today,
which made it appear that I had gone to the open section of the park, and hiked
two miles in the opposite direction to the closed Big Meadows campground where
I have spent time in more temperate times. In the summer it is teaming with
Rv’ers and campers of all kinds. Today, I was the only person there, trespassing
around in the still winter air, snooping on the empty sites, cabins and the
closed for the winter lodge; a herd of deer as curious of me as I was them.
I decided to take a different path back to Charlottesville, going down
211 though Luray and on to 340 which follows both forks of the Shenandoah
River. I stopped in the small town of Shenandoah at a non descript Italian
restaurant. A magazine was sitting on the table, and as I waited for my meal, I
came across this article.
A cousin of Will Barber, Carrington Feeley, fell off these falls in high
school. His hiking friend, went out on to the falls to help him, also slipped
and died as well. I climbed to the summit with Hunter, Giles and Caroline at
separate times during 2010 and 2011. Caroline and I camped there during her
spring break senior year. With Giles, he pulled ahead of me, and when I got to
the summit he was no where to be found. As this was an old trick, I used to
pull on them, I wasn’t worried and he appeared out of the bush after about 10
minutes inquiring as to who I might be looking for.
The falls are clearly marked several times, warning of the slick algae
and the 25 deaths in recent years (I often wondered how many Native American
teenagers fell off, when no one was counting).
As a thankful parent, because there but the grace of god, goes my children
and me, I had trouble finishing my chicken parmigiana. ***********************************************************************************************************
By Melodie Davis
Valley Living Winter 2011
A year ago on November 22, 2010, Eli Lehman, a Turner Ashby
graduate and senior at Virginia Tech, with a growing compassion for the needs
of others, slipped 300 feet to his death at Crab Tree Falls, Nelson County
Virginia.
How does a family survive and go on?
Eli loved the outdoors, sports and, more recently, orphans in
Kenya where he worked for six weeks in the summer of 2009 after earlier going
on a mission trip with his family. His parents, Gerry and Pam Lehman and
brother Seth were not the only ones asking, “Why, God?”, in the wake of Eli’s
venture onto an algae-covered ledge at the top of the falls.
The past year has been the hardest of their lives, yet they are
able to lavish praise on the support they felt from family, friends, work
colleagues and community. Gerry is director of food services for Rockingham County Schools and Pam is an
algebra teacher and an assistant girls basketball coach at Turner Ashby High
School; Seth, a graduate of Virginia Tech, works in Richmond.
As a child Eli grew up “fiercely competitive”---always active,
full of life, enjoying soccer from the age of six, and later basket ball,
camping, kayaking and mountain biking. Gerry coached ten or so teams his sons
played on over the years, and knew how frustrated Eli would get when he’d lose.
Pam admitted she and Eli often butted heads through his childhood and teen
years. “I said things to him that I wish I never would have said”, she
recalled.
But he was also a good student: began reading before he went to
kindergarten, enjoyed word plays, math and drawing, not surprising given his
eventual major in Industrial design at Tech. He was a visual person with an eye
for patterns in clouds, or even a stop sign. When he died he was seeking a
better view to photograph the highest falls east of the Mississippi.
“He wasn’t comfortable with who he was until midway through high
school when he became more of a leader and not just a follower,” recalled his father.
Eli participated in FAA leadership and later at Tech, In Campus Crusade for
Christ---a student run faith club. Through two experiences in Kenya, Eli began
questioning Western materialism and wealth, thinking about what it means to
live more simply. A member of Grace Covenant Church in Harrisonburg, “he was
developing a real heart for mission and was exploring how to apply his major to
make a difference in the lives of people who are less fortunate”, said his
father. “He had matured leaps and bounds the last couple of years,” Gary marveled.
“Sometimes I wonder what was in Eli’s mind as he fell, but I can
only trust that to God”, Pam shared. Gerry and Pam spent time talking with the
four friends who were with Eli on the climb to hear exactly how the accident
occurred and to assure the friends not to feel guilt over what had
occurred----the students had not been fooling around. At least twenty five
others have plunged to their deaths at the falls, with signs citing the danger.
When the friends got down the trail to Eli, they pulled his body from the rocky
stream. Eli was not conscious but still breathing. The friends gave their
clothing to keep Eli warm, while two went to get help since cell phones were
out of range. It took squad workers and friends three hours to carry him out on
a stretcher. When he stopped breathing, they used CPR for about half an
hour until it was obvious Eli, with
massive head and other injuries, wasn’t going to make it. His best friend since
the age of two, Andrew Hedrick, hugged and held Eli in his final moments. Andrew’s
parents, Ellen and Lou, were also close friends of the Lehman’s. Lou called
Gerry, who was at home. Pam was at basketball practice at T.A. Lou told Gerry
that there had been a very serious accident involving the boys and they decided
to meet in the parking lot at T.A. for details. “By the time we gathered,
everyone was crying, and we knew it was the worst kind of news’, recalled
Gerry. Andrew, who we called our 'third son,' had a hard time getting the story
out." Later Pam and Gerry Skyped their son Seth in Richmond 5 and three of
his friends immediately brought him home. Eli also had a serious girlfriend,
Jessica, ''who was the hardest to tell," said Pam. "We know now they
had discussed their future together." The parents also called his three roommates at Tech. A memorial
service was held the following Sunday at Grace Covenant
where Gerry, Pam and Seth all spoke. Pam recalled the moments of frustration
and anger in
raising Eli, and thanked God that "in the
last few years he and I have been able to relate to one another in a way that I
had always dreamed of relating to my children." She said Eli was
wrestling with how to "be a provider for his future family and also be a
man 'sold out' to Jesus." Eli had been planning to be interviewed that
week for a position with "Teach for America" hoping to eventually
teach English in either China or Kenya and "somehow use his industrial
design skills to help people in third world countries.
The Lehman family
had to get through Thanksgiving before having Eli's memorial
service on Sunday; Christmas followed quickly. Their continuing pain made the
holidays difficult but they received much tangible support. Pam stated,
"We didn't have to cook the entire month of December." Pam's brother
also had a very serious . operation during the same time. "We had to
remember others were grieving too." A relative who felt badly about not
calling Pam just to talk or check in admitted she didn't call because she felt
guilty "because I still have my children." Gerry noted, "We had all that support and it was still
excruciating. I don't know how people that don't have a faith community can get
through it." Marriages are often severely tested after the tragic death of a
child and when asked that question, Gerry collected
his thoughts. "While we both feel secure in our commitment to
our relationship, it was a challenging year. You are grieving, disappointed,
angry, and one of us will say or do something that makes the other go 'where
did that come from?'" After coming through probably the ''worst
fight in our marriage, we found God's grace to help work through it," Pam
shared with her church family. Gerry and Pam both express that they have leaned
greatly on God and are immensely grateful that they both had close times of
bonding with Eli the weekend before he died. Gerry enjoyed a game of
four-on-four ''pick up" basketball where he was guarding 6-ft. 6-in. Eli.
At the memorial service, Gerry said ''this is one of my last memories of Eli,
him shooting three pointers and driving through the lane to the hoop like I
wasn't even there."
He told that story to encourage the parents and
kids that the "only time it's too late to foster relationships with
family friends is after they are gone. If relationships are severed, or they
are not that great right now, take whatever
small steps are necessary to begin the healing." Eli had given Pam
a hug in the kitchen and both said "I love you" on Sunday night
before his Monday hike. Pam recalls
being happy that peace and love had replaced their years of butting heads .
They also. took comfort in messages Eli had posted on his Face book page, which
is still up as a kind of memory book. Eli wrote, "Eternity doesn't start
when the earthly clock stops ... eternity starts in the NOW. What are you doing
with your life that's going to echo through eternity? What are you investing in
NOW that has eternal significance for tomorrow? And under his profile picture Eli Posted,
"Many people wonder if there is an afterlife. Every one finds out!"
Pam, Gerry and Seth are assured Eli is enjoying that afterlife with God.
"Death isn't so scary now," said Pam. The Lehman’s, in allowing their
story to. be shared further, do not wish to draw attention to themselves but
rather that the lesson learned by Eli---to. mend relationships, to care for
others, 1 anchor himself firmly with God, to not go out on a posted ledge would
be a message to others.
Virginia Tech gave the Lehman’s an honorary diploma Eli's behalf in May, 2011, and established an
award program Eli's name for student-led humanitarian efforts.
Comments