San Cristobol de las Casas

The Mexican Magical Town Program was an initiative led by the Mexican Government's Bureau of Tourism "to promote a series of towns around the country that offer offer visitors a 'magical' experience by reason of their natural beauty, cultural richness, traditions, folklore, historical relevance, cuisine, arts, crafts and great hospitality".

The program was launched in 2001 with the aim of boosting visitor numbers to lesser known destinations in Mexico with special features that make them attractive to tourists.

San Cristobol de las Casas, Chiapas is one of 121 current pueblos magicos. Now that anti-corruption crusader Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador is the new president of Mexico, the future of federal funding for the program is "under review".

Yes gentle reader, I know it is hard to fathom, but there are insinuations, fulminations and accusations of...wait for it... entrenched corruption and malfeasance at the highest levels of the program. Corruption rampant at every level of a Mexican government program? Say it isn't so.

Actually Mexico's corruption is quite honest. Everyone from the top down profits, el presidente down to the meter maid.

 In the USA, especially under Trump, only the top 2% benefit.

Once a town is chosen and the federal funds start to roll in, they clean up the town, chase away the n'er do wells and the tourists start to bring gringo dollars (the definition of gringo is any person, but especially an American, who is not Hispanic or Latino). E-mail me if you want to know the difference between an Hispanic and a Latino.

Everyone's life improves, especially, so goes the government dogma, for the indigenous people. I haven't read much about the alleged corruption in the magic town program but evidently most of the magic towns are situated in some of the more politically connected to Mexico City states, hence the howls of outrage from the boonies.

What I have noticed in San Cristobol and a few other magic towns in no particular order: a relatively thriving indigenous population, clean cobblestone lanes that tourists love to take selfies on, vegetarian restaurants, restored to their former architectural glory Spanish plazas, cathedrals and homes; yoga, coffee shops touting Chiapas coffee, a lack of the menacing police force presence that is so prevalent in many other places in Mexico and a paucity of nasty feral dogs.

Apropos the absence of truckloads of shotgun and AK-47 toting policemen that is common elsewhere in Mexico; it is my understanding that some agreement was reached somewhere that told the criminals something like this: "we can fight it out in this cartel war in many other places, but if you cause trouble in these towns, you, and your very extended family, will regret the day you were born".

Many of the cathedrals in town suffered earthquake damage last year.

However San Cristobol de las Casas got to be a magic town, I am cool with it.

Ended up at 33 Tapachula Street for two weeks.

Then moved a few doors down to 25 Tapachula. San Cristobol altitude is 7200 feet and most of the buildings are made of reinforced concrete, which are slow to heat up. As it is December, we were the firewood lady's best friend.

These compounds that we have been renting in Mexico have all sorts of cool patios, terraces and courtyards. Airbnb really has been working out for us by providing these large houses for about the cost of a hostel or hotel.

Our back yard at 25 Tapachula. This remodeled compound was built ~100 years ago.

Know who else loves these cute little magical towns?

Expatriates.

But more on that later.

One day we a caught a collectivo for 90 cents to San Juan de Chamula, about 10k from San Christobol. Chamula is the home of the indigenous Tzotil Maya people.The town enjoys a unique autonomous status within Mexico and no outside police or military are allowed in the village. Presumably, their own police force sorts things out. They have their own courts and villagers can be banned from the community for certain offenses. The exiles then have to move to an area known as the belt of misery where they frequently end up dying of loneliness and alcoholism.

It is also the home of the Templo de San Juan. I do not know what a Vatican spokesperson would say about the church's...er...shall we say unorthodox practice of Catholicism (in fact I have heard but could not verify, reports that the church had been ex-communicated at some point) but it is an anthropologist's dream.

The church is an interesting example of the syncretism often found in Mexico. It seems to be a mix of pre-conquest Mesoamerican beliefs, traditional Catholic rituals, witchcraft, wizardry, sorcery, santera, Santa Muerte, shamanism and subsequent innovations.

Before paying a dollar to enter, we were sternly warned against taking photographs inside the church as the locals believe that a photo imprisons their souls. We have heard stories of tourists who have violated this rule and have seriously lived to regret that decision.

As our eyes adjusted to the light, we noticed that all the pews had been taken out and the floor was covered with fresh green pine needles. Along the walls were statues of unrecognizable saints that are different from what you might find in a traditional Catholic church. They represent Mayan gods and are adorned with pineapples, flowers and mirrors to deflect evil spirits.

There were hundreds of candles burning and the air was heavy with copal incense resin. People sat alone, in twos and threes and in families. On the floor were sacrificial items such as candles stuck to the floor with melted wax, chickens, cups of the artisanal corn/sugar cane based liquor called Pox (pronounced posh) and everyone had bottles of Coca-Cola.

Aided by curanderos, shamans who diagnose and prescribe remedies for medical, psychological and evil eye afflictions, the parishioners waved bunches of herbs over prostrate bodies and chanted in an archaic dialect of Tzotz. They also drank copious amounts pox and of Coca-Cola, which caused the people to burp which expelled the evil spirits.

Be that as it may, Coca-Cola, introduced in 1962, and the ceremonial pox have wreaked havoc on the health of the Tzotz tribe. Dental problems, diabetes and alcoholism come to mind.

One day in a dome shaped Temazcal an ancient Mesoamerican sweat lodge that cleanses the mind and cures everything.

Took a trip to Sumidero Canyon, about 45 minutes from San Cristobol. It is a one hour boat ride up the Grijalva River. The round trip covered 64 kilometers and the canyon wall at its tallest is over 1000 meters.

Mexico does a good job keeping tourist areas safe. Armed checkpoint here inspects all boats to keep possible pirates at bay.

A stop at a geological Christmas Tree.

 Limestone water drips from the canyon wall above and over time makes these limestone shelves.

Then plants grow on the shelves.

A grotto dedicated to the Virgin de Guadalupe somebody put there.

An iguana taking a little lie down.

All kinds of birds and howler monkeys in the trees.

A river crocodile on the bank. Several people in several languages asked about the garbage at some places on the river. As busy as this park is you'd think they could use part of the admission fee to send a couple of boys in a boat every day and collect the odd bag or plastic bottle.



Until I went on line to see what was up with all this garbage and saw a picture of what it looks like sometimes! And to think we were concerned about a few Coke bottles next to mister crocodile.

Upon further study, it seems that ~15,000 very poor people have migrated to the park from elsewhere and created huge illegal human settlements. The demand for living space created an industry of illegal subdivisions that are then sold to the naive without title.

Apparently when it rains, the trash from all these people washes down gullys and streams into the river. On top of that, the raw sewage from ~550,000 legal nearby residents, logging debris from legal and illegal logging operations, washing machines, human and animal remains enter the canyon mainly during the rainy season. Only a small part of this waste is visible at the surface, the rest is submerged.

Our driver told us that, apart from several annual clean ups that involve special garbage barges and up to 60 local boats, all the launch operators volunteer to fish out trash to the tune of 12 tons EVERY DAY!

Yuk! Too many people on this earth.

Merry Christmas 2018

Ho! Ho! Ho! I got into the pox a little early on Christmas Eve and Lilly just left me there. Felt kinda rough Christmas morn though.

So, let's finish up with a check in on the subject of expats.

The reasons for choosing an expat lifestyle are as varied as there are expats. However, at the top of the list for young and old is a disputably superior lifestyle for half or even a third of the cost than in gringo countries. I meet plenty of expats from Europe and Canada, but in our case we are going to use the USA as the mother country.

The advantage to shiftless and adventure inclined young people is that they can hang out, travel about, surf, work on *projects* and so on for months or years for cheaper, in like 200 of these countries, than they can hang out, travel about, surf, work on *projects* and so on, in just about anywhere USA. There is also paid work and work trade in most of these places.

Old, adventure adverse people, who have plenty of money, really don't have to worry about it. They are close to the grandkids who may visit from time to time. They can just stay on retirement island and go on nice vacations to Cabo San Lucas and Hawaii from time to time, until they are dragged out feet first.

This is like 95% of the demographic, as most over 60 wealthy geezers don't want a lot of adventures and certainly don't want a bunch of weird surprises, thank you very much.

But in the USA, there are now millions of geezers who are reaching retirement age with nothing. This can be through bad decisions and bad luck in life and love. But more frequently they are just average joes, veterans, upper middle class folks, blue collar folks, who did the right thing, worked their whole lives but ain't got shit to show for it whatever the reason.

Spend some time here and you realize that the cost of living in the USA is staggering. The cost you read the most about is medical. Stories abound of medical bankruptcies caused by a $5000 aspirin. Just look at the homeless camps everywhere USA, but more specifically cities like LA, SF, Portland and Seattle.

So the wealthy and the homeless stay put. That leaves like 5% of people, with no real retirement savings, who are adventure inclined, plain desperate, running from something or just stone crazy...that pack their fucking bags.

This demographic group of people, on the verge of retirement, who financially would have a really austere and sucky life in some dreary apartment somewhere in Europe or North America, living on a small pension or social security...can move to places like Mexico and Thailand and live like a frigging king.

Alas sweet reader, having said that, this life ain't for everybody,

Chef Ted's Top 5 Picks of Best Things about Expat Life:

1) The cost of living. Groceries, doctor and dental visits, housing, travel are half to a third more inexpensive than in the USA. It begs the question why? Why is a whole meal in a restaurant here $6.00 and a bowl of soup $12.00 at the Old Ebbitt Grill in Washington DC? Why is a dental visit here $30.00 and $300.00 in the USA?

2) To be sure, expat life is not a perpetual vacation but every day can be an adventure. Some days it may be as simple as going down to the zocalo and watching the vendors roast corn before calling it a day. Luckily I speak Spanish and I enjoy making these sounds to someone and am always pleasantly surprised when they answer back to me in sounds that suggest that we totally understand each other. Remember that many of the indigenous people speak limited Spanish and then only to do business.

3) The Market. Meats, vegetables, herbs, live turkeys, magic potions, sliced fruit, tacos and a little bit of everything else at very reasonable prices.

4) Mexico is a gigantic country with unlimited new adventures to be had for the taking. As a long term traveler you can start to think that you can't be surprised any more and then you walk into a strange little church in a village called Chamula.

5) NOT WORKING IN MEXICO! I like the Spanish word for retirement: JUBILATION!

Chef Ted's Top 5 Picks of Why Expat Life Ain't for Everybody:

1) This expat lifestyle only works with gringo dollars. The 2018 minimum wage in Mexico is US 56 cents an hour. So when people like me prattle on about "OMG! it is so cheap here in Mexico", remember that there are millions of people who sell candies and tacos on the street from sun up to sun down seven days a week to live in two concrete rooms with several generations of their family. Of course, the wealthy in Mexico are seriously wealthy, so imagine how well they live.

If you really want to feel grateful, take a look at what the indigenous people here have to do to make a living.

I recently drank mescal with a plumber, who with $175,000 built a three story walled concrete compound near the beach in Puerto Escondido. His place has a garden patio, pool and three rentable airbnb apartments. His social security check, a mere pittance in the USA, that arrives monthly from one Uncle Sam in Gringoland, allows for fresh food, utilities, some travel and cleaning and garden personnel. Let a plumber try that in Poughkeepsie.

2) You are a perpetual outsider. Friends and family are a long ways away and you fade away from their lives. The indigenous people will never ask you anything except do you want to buy a trinket. You will always be a gringo and a gringo that seems to not work and lives in a nicer house than all of the locals.

The Mexicans pickle things like carrots, radishes and jalapenos fine, but they don't get pickles. MEXICO DOESN'T DO CLAUSSEN!

Stephen, our airbnb host in Puerto, related how once you are not a tourist anymore, things change. If you have a negative experience with a Mexican national, especially a woman, you are gonna find out rapidamente just how much of a gringo you really are.

He tells the story of the time he slightly banged a taxi's bumper (remember driving in Mexico is about as crazy as driving into New York City). The driver wanted money on the spot for a new bumper whereas Stephen thought he had just brushed a little dust off the man's hanging on by a cord bumper. The next thing he knew he was blocked in and surrounded by 10 other taxis. He shrugged and said no one leaves the scene of an accident in Mexico until everyone is happy.

You Tube is chocked full of expat advice forums that highlight mistakes foreigners make when dealing with nationals. The list includes police contact, real estate transactions, dating or even more precarious, marrying a local and employment laws. I have heard of love stories that have gone south and employment/payroll tax problems with that cook or gardener that they thought was so great at $15.00 a day. If it goes extremely bad in court, that ex-lover or maid can end up with your house and you have to hi tail it back to that dreary apartment in Poughkeepsie.

3) You must be super aware when walking. Gaping holes, uneven stairs and steps, drainage ditches full of raw sewage that can wash you into the Pacific, hidden pieces of askew steel rebar and vehicles. Pedestrians definitely do NOT have the right away in Mexico.

4) Noise. Parades, Mariachi bands, dances, parties, concerts, barking dogs, vendors driving by selling everything by way of loudspeakers mounted on their rigs, crowing roosters and fireworks (artillery bombs?) that neighbors would call the ATF if you set them off in the USA. These sounds can go on throughout the night and an artillery rocket barrage at 5:30 AM is not uncommon.

5) Everyone has read the stories about CRIME in Mexico but has everyone read about the crime in Baltimore or Chicago ? If a potential tourist were to read about the crime in every American city and common elementary and high school shootings like Sandy Hook, would they still come to visit?

Having said that, I read the local papers here and what you have read about...happens. Most of it takes place between the drug cartels in certain states (there is a whole musical genre called Narcocorrido.).
There are certainly states that have no go zones like Sinaloa and Michoacan; if fact I don't think even the Mexican military goes into some of these places.

We have been here since Labor Day and have not had one single incident. Of course we tend to be in the picturesque places that by definition draw tourists, so are safer. We stay in walled compounds that can have razor wire on the walls. The front doors are heavy steel and are usually barred. We are not out much after 8:00 PM and are definitely not out at bars at 2:00 AM in dark local neighborhoods where most of this stuff takes place. Like everywhere in the world, one has to weigh the risk/reward ratio.

I have studied the risk/ reward/joy ratios and decided to plan to live like this until I can't. I haven't chosen a country yet, but promise to chose a retirement island before I am 100.

Day trip to El Chiflon Waterfalls

Lake region near the Guatemalan border.

One of many, Lake Montebello here.

Guatemala Border. Talk about easy to cross...wasn't anyone even checking documents. 2018 was quite an adventure for me...volcanic eruptions in Hawaii to the Guatemalan border.

Gentle Reader: Happy New Year 2019!

Thanks for Stopping By