Old Boys at Alumni Hall

Alumni Hall at the University of Virginia....a great customer to have!

 Last Saturday night I catered a 300 person black tie fraternity's 160th birthday bash here at the University of Virginia's Alumni Hall. I was in a similar fraternity and know the drill well. If I can help it, I never privately, personally, freely, attend such events. I might make my living catering to this/my? crowd, but I would never voluntarily use my precious free time to attend as a guest such an event. There are other posts at this site in which I delve into the psychology of reunions.

At half time of a sixteen hour day, I gloomily gazed across the crowd, a world in which inwardly I have little relation. I never really understood how literally thousands of people could be so enthralled with a institution...any institution. I mean high school etc. wasn't all that great. Until my gloomy gaze landed on George. George was a senior when I was an incoming freshman in 1976. He was crazier than a shithouse rat, appeared a genius, and spent a lot of time naked at fraternity parties with dicks,*dicks and balls*, as he called them, magic markered on all parts of his body.  In his quieter, sober moments, George was a brilliant chess player. We road tripped, played chess, generally did college, however briefly...and then he graduated. Never saw him again or truthfully, never thought much about him again....until tonight.

With heartfelt man hugs, we greeted each other true affection. Later, we man hugged again to say goodbye, and did not make plans to see each other again. I wondered, as I always do, about the fleeting nature of human relationships. George and I could have taken up right where we left off 35 years ago, but he had a wife and his reunion at hand, that he had paid good money to attend, traveling from Kentucky and all. And I had a gig to do as well as one the next day. While he would head back to the Boar's Head Inn, at the end of my 16 hours, I would have to make sure the bathrooms were clean for this almost 24/7 facility.

My entrance to Alumni Hall for ~25 years.

 Sometimes I wonder about the nature of old friends. Like in George's case, some are only destined to be in our lives a short time. I have no doubt that given more time, George and I could have been in the back of his 1969 Fairlane on our way to Hollins College, 35 years ago; but when we parted Saturday night, we didn't even bother going through the motions of "really, we have to get together".

Are all relationships temporary? Often, they end unexpectedly. Sometimes you end it, sometimes they end it. Lovers leave lovers, children leave parents, parents leave children, friends leave friends, acquaintances move on. As far as the relationships ending, sometimes you end it, sometimes they end it, sometimes it just sort of fades away. Each person's values change as they acquire new knowledge, gain/ lose money, health, resources and compatibility. For example, say you join a beer club; then one day someone suggests that they offer wine as well and before you know it, you are in a wine club. This is not the club you joined. Eventually you/they have totally different value systems and are no longer compatible. Then, hopefully without too much rancor, one or the other just secedes from the tribe. Each person now free to seek happiness in their own new way.

What was it with George and me? I thought about all the important and unimportant people that have cruised through our lives in 35 years. There are people that leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief, and wonder HITF (how in the fuck) did I ever come in contact with these fools? There are others that leave gaping holes in your heart.

In any event, George went back to Kentucky and I backed the catering truck out of Alumni Hall. We agreed that we liked each other 35 years ago and we will probably never see each other again.

 

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